whiticisms.com

According to Celebuzz, the Biebz wantonly tweeted, then immediately deleted, the following last night:

Not that we don’t think Selena is lovely and all, but Justin is just too young to be in a serious, longterm relationship. It’s time to share the love… with us.

Feb 16

The Biebz Grabs Pancakes… Among Other Things

Mr. Bieber and Madame Gomez grabbed pancakes at iHop yesterday in Encino, CA. And that’s not the only thing Bieber was grabbing (see photo). Geez louise, Biebz! Be a little more aware of your hand placement.

The couple seem to be as happy as ever (unfortunately for us). With Justin turning 18 in less than a month, we’re hoping he’ll move on to an older woman… yeah.

Blake Lively Looking Like A Lollipop

Umm, is it just us, or is Blake Lively looking startlingly SUPER skinny at the Noon by Noor Fall 2012 presentation?

We know it’s NY Fashion Week and all—and we understand losing a couple pounds for the festivities—but Lively seems to have lost her fabulous curves altogether! We hope the weight loss is for an upcoming movie role.

Dec 22

XOXO from XIX - NOW CLOSED

It’s exclusive. It’s sexy. It’s rebellious. It’s XIX—New York’s latest “it” hotspot of the moment.

Far from the gaudy Meatpacking District, which has regrettably been usurped by the dreaded B&T (that’s “Bridge & Tunnel”) crowd, the underground SoHo lounge resides unassumingly on Kenmare between Bowery and Elizabeth Street. And when we say “unassumingly,” we mean invisible. It doesn’t even have a sign. But not to fear, the lone burly bouncer standing outside the displaced, medieval-esque wooden front door is a clue you’ve made it… at least to the door. That’s only half the battle.

XIX is certainly reveling in its New York nightlife scene supremacy. With the lifespan of a Manhattan nightclub rarely lasting longer than two years, XIX and its select club promoters are soaking up its pretentious exclusivity for all its worth.

Ironically, once you’re in, XIX loses most of its supercilious nature. Upon entering the premise, an abrupt staircase leads you down a gloomily red-lit flight of steps to yet another wooden door behind which the sound of music can be faintly heard. The anticipation rivals that of a brace-faced 12-year-old girl about to meet Justin Bieber. Then, you enter.

Accept beforehand that your clothes will be temporarily embalmed with the heavy scent of cigarette smoke. One of the first things you’ll notice as you enter the dimly lit, surprisingly small, square-shaped main room is the impossibility of XIX’s patrons smoking (GASP!) indoors. Badass.

The ceilings are low and the models tall. Fortunately, for every semi-enviable ethereal 5’11” stick figure, there’s a normal-sized human being to salvage your self-esteem. Essentially, everyone is hot, unless they have enough money not to be. And the wealthy will buy you drinks until they look hot, too.

As you make your way through the crowd of Manhattan’s elite dancing hypnotically (and drunkenly) to the latest and greatest in Top 40, hip-hop, dubstep, and mainstream rap blasting at full volume, you may recognize one of the bartenders as dreamy Australian musician Jay Lyon—most notably, ex-lover of Miranda Kerr and Whitney Port, respectively.

As the night rolls on at the sinful playground, you’ll notice XIX transform into a modern-day speakeasy before your very eyes. Let’s just say the less innocuous substances discreetly make an appearance, and some will swear they partied with a little green fairy.

Walking Through Walls With David Neon

David Neon lives by one standard—NEXT LEVEL. Everything he does, in work and in life, must be on another level from the ordinary. The 22-year-old New York native is eccentric, thoughtful (literally, full of thoughts), sometimes vague, and always charming. He firmly believes in everything he says, and his forecasted future can’t be far off from reality.

Neon (née David J. Berg) believes that if someone were to cut him open with a scalpel, overpowering pink neon light would pour out of his rib cavity, hence the stage name.

The recent NYU grad resides on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and DJs birthday parties and bar mitzvahs when necessary to pay the bills. Neon, who can only write songs whilst walking with loud music blasting through his headphones, has been making music for as long as his memory spans.

To date, the musician has three uber catchy pop songs on his website for the world to hear, including “Stars,” “Medicine,” and “CRZY.” The lyrics are witty and sensual (i.e. “Houston, I think we’ve got a problem/ but it’s such a hot one”), and the beatz—particularly that of “Stars”—make it impossible to sit still. Seriously, try to NOT dance. It’s music you can jam to in numerous situations save, perhaps, a funeral.

Though Mr. Neon is proud of his previous work, he’s now working on a new sound; a new concept for his big debut. Following his elusive “pop star formula,” Neon plans to create a new way of expressing music. He and his music combined will be an experience. “I can give you something you can feel,” he says. “Something you can hold onto.”

Neon wants to be a pop-electro icon. Like David Guetta with a good voice. He is the self-proclaimed love child of Freddie Mercury and Katy Perry. Neon doesn’t pretentiously shy away from the mainstream in hopes of coming off as more unique, hipster, avant-garde— whatever. Rather, Mr. Neon fully embraces Top 40 music, and revealed that his debut “mix tape” (A.K.A. album) will be a fantasia of “Party Rock Anthem” esque songs. His new material is darker, sexier, faster, and all around R-rated.

Though Neon has made some serious industry connections—he brought Kanye F#!*^%G West to a school play at NYU—he acknowledges the extreme challenge of breaking into the music biz. So I asked him, “There’s a million wanna-be pop stars. Why the hell should anyone care about you?” And he mysteriously replied, “I am the glowing poet.” And he’ll break the law of physics—or, in his words, “walk through walls”— to prove it.

Dec 09

Matt Damon Smooches Mystery Brunette

While shooting a skit for SNL this morning in New York, Mr. Damon was spotted partaking in a little harmless PDA between shoots with Mrs. Damon.

Oct 19

Oct 10

Women With REAL Fabulous Hair

While the rest of Hollywood’s hair wonders are sporting elaborate hair pieces and extensions, these ladies are keepin’ it real. And for good reason—they have GREAT freaking hair.