whiticisms.com

JUSTIN BIEBER IS SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE

Fri, 18 May 2012 15:17:24 -0400

At least that’s what a shiz ton of gossip sites are saying.

According to Celebuzz, the Biebz wantonly tweeted, then immediately deleted, the following last night:

[Photo via]

OH MUH GAWDZ!!!

Not that we don’t think Selena is lovely and all, but Justin is just too young to be in a serious, longterm relationship. It’s time to share the love… with us.

The Biebz Grabs Pancakes... Among Other Things

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:39:00 -0500

Mr. Bieber and Madame Gomez grabbed pancakes at iHop yesterday in Encino, CA. And that’s not the only thing Bieber was grabbing (see photo). Geez louise, Biebz! Be a little more aware of your hand placement.

The couple seem to be as happy as ever (unfortunately for us). With Justin turning 18 in less than a month, we’re hoping he’ll move on to an older woman… yeah.

lolz.

Blake Lively Looking Like A Lollipop

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:09:18 -0500

Umm, is it just us, or is Blake Lively looking startlingly SUPER skinny at the Noon by Noor Fall 2012 presentation?

We know it’s NY Fashion Week and all—and we understand losing a couple pounds for the festivities—but Lively seems to have lost her fabulous curves altogether! We hope the weight loss is for an upcoming movie role.

Remember kids: healthy is hot, anorexic is NOT.

XOXO from XIX - NOW CLOSED

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:46:00 -0500

It’s exclusive. It’s sexy. It’s rebellious. It’s XIX—New York’s latest “it” hotspot of the moment.

Far from the gaudy Meatpacking District, which has regrettably been usurped by the dreaded B&T (that’s “Bridge & Tunnel”) crowd, the underground SoHo lounge resides unassumingly on Kenmare between Bowery and Elizabeth Street. And when we say “unassumingly,” we mean invisible. It doesn’t even have a sign. But not to fear, the lone burly bouncer standing outside the displaced, medieval-esque wooden front door is a clue you’ve made it… at least to the door. That’s only half the battle.

XIX is certainly reveling in its New York nightlife scene supremacy. With the lifespan of a Manhattan nightclub rarely lasting longer than two years, XIX and its select club promoters are soaking up its pretentious exclusivity for all its worth.

Ironically, once you’re in, XIX loses most of its supercilious nature. Upon entering the premise, an abrupt staircase leads you down a gloomily red-lit flight of steps to yet another wooden door behind which the sound of music can be faintly heard. The anticipation rivals that of a brace-faced 12-year-old girl about to meet Justin Bieber. Then, you enter.

Accept beforehand that your clothes will be temporarily embalmed with the heavy scent of cigarette smoke. One of the first things you’ll notice as you enter the dimly lit, surprisingly small, square-shaped main room is the impossibility of XIX’s patrons smoking (GASP!) indoors. Badass.

The ceilings are low and the models tall. Fortunately, for every semi-enviable ethereal 5’11” stick figure, there’s a normal-sized human being to salvage your self-esteem. Essentially, everyone is hot, unless they have enough money not to be. And the wealthy will buy you drinks until they look hot, too.

As you make your way through the crowd of Manhattan’s elite dancing hypnotically (and drunkenly) to the latest and greatest in Top 40, hip-hop, dubstep, and mainstream rap blasting at full volume, you may recognize one of the bartenders as dreamy Australian musician Jay Lyon—most notably, ex-lover of Miranda Kerr and Whitney Port, respectively.

As the night rolls on at the sinful playground, you’ll notice XIX transform into a modern-day speakeasy before your very eyes. Let’s just say the less innocuous substances discreetly make an appearance, and some will swear they partied with a little green fairy.

Walking Through Walls With David Neon

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:38:00 -0500

David Neon lives by one standard—NEXT LEVEL. Everything he does, in work and in life, must be on another level from the ordinary. The 22-year-old New York native is eccentric, thoughtful (literally, full of thoughts), sometimes vague, and always charming. He firmly believes in everything he says, and his forecasted future can’t be far off from reality.

Neon (née David J. Berg) believes that if someone were to cut him open with a scalpel, overpowering pink neon light would pour out of his rib cavity, hence the stage name.

The recent NYU grad resides on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and DJs birthday parties and bar mitzvahs when necessary to pay the bills. Neon, who can only write songs whilst walking with loud music blasting through his headphones, has been making music for as long as his memory spans.

To date, the musician has three uber catchy pop songs on his website for the world to hear, including “Stars,” “Medicine,” and “CRZY.” The lyrics are witty and sensual (i.e. “Houston, I think we’ve got a problem/ but it’s such a hot one”), and the beatz—particularly that of “Stars”—make it impossible to sit still. Seriously, try to NOT dance. It’s music you can jam to in numerous situations save, perhaps, a funeral.

Though Mr. Neon is proud of his previous work, he’s now working on a new sound; a new concept for his big debut. Following his elusive “pop star formula,” Neon plans to create a new way of expressing music. He and his music combined will be an experience. “I can give you something you can feel,” he says. “Something you can hold onto.”

Neon wants to be a pop-electro icon. Like David Guetta with a good voice. He is the self-proclaimed love child of Freddie Mercury and Katy Perry. Neon doesn’t pretentiously shy away from the mainstream in hopes of coming off as more unique, hipster, avant-garde— whatever. Rather, Mr. Neon fully embraces Top 40 music, and revealed that his debut “mix tape” (A.K.A. album) will be a fantasia of “Party Rock Anthem” esque songs. His new material is darker, sexier, faster, and all around R-rated.

Though Neon has made some serious industry connections—he brought Kanye F#!*^%G West to a school play at NYU—he acknowledges the extreme challenge of breaking into the music biz. So I asked him, “There’s a million wanna-be pop stars. Why the hell should anyone care about you?” And he mysteriously replied, “I am the glowing poet.” And he’ll break the law of physics—or, in his words, “walk through walls”— to prove it.

Matt Damon Smooches Mystery Brunette

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:31:13 -0500

And by “Mystery Brunette,” we mean HIS WIFE… at least we think so.

While shooting a skit for SNL this morning in New York, Mr. Damon was spotted partaking in a little harmless PDA between shoots with Mrs. Damon.

Tis the season, right?

This morning, Whiticisms stumbled upon Saturday Night...

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:20:00 -0500

This morning, Whiticisms stumbled upon Saturday Night Live’s Andy Samberg filming what appeared to be a holiday skit with Matt Damon, Katy Perry, and some other dude we didn’t recognize. The crew was set up on Horatio Street near Manhattan’s Meatpacking District.

The cast was hard at work, despite seriously chilly temps. Damon, who was sporting a long, scraggly brown wig and rotted fake teeth, happened to be the most lighthearted of the bunch, while infamous goofballs Samberg and Perry maintained more solemn dispositions when he cameras were off. Maybe they were just in the zone?

Also notable: Andy Samberg chatted up a cute blonde crew member, Katy Perry drinks Starbucks (with a straw, I might add), and Matt Damon wears Depends? lolz.

Whiticisms snapped a few shots (above) before grumpy P.A.s exiled photogs.

Last night, we got to hang out at the MTV studio for the live...

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:32:00 -0400

Last night, we got to hang out at the MTV studio for the live premiere of Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” music video on MTV First: Justin Bieber.

As is to be expected, “Mistletoe” did NOT disappoint. The Biebz looks dreamy as per usual, and when surrounded by squealing tween girls, even we couldn’t keep our cool during the mistletoe smooch!

During the show, Whiticisms offered the Biebz a New Year’s Resolution—that he should make his first REAL mistletoe kiss happen. And we can CERTAINLY help with that, lolz.

Women With REAL Fabulous Hair

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:46:00 -0400

While the rest of Hollywood’s hair wonders are sporting elaborate hair pieces and extensions, these ladies are keepin’ it real. And for good reason—they have GREAT freaking hair.

Meg Ryan

Jennifer Aniston

Dianna Agron

Hayden Panettiere

Taylor Swift

Blake Lively

Emma Watson

Totally on a Demi Lovato kick the last couple days. But we think...

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 18:00:43 -0400

Totally on a Demi Lovato kick the last couple days. But we think it’s appropriate given the drop of her new album. And we love Demi. That lady is so full of talent, it’s unreal. Get it, girl!

Check out “Fix A Heart” above.

A really beautiful, HONEST message from Demi Lovato to her fans,...

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:25:23 -0400

A really beautiful, HONEST message from Demi Lovato to her fans, featuring the amazing “Fix A Heart” off her new album. “Unbroken” hits stores TODAY.

If you’re a Demi fan like we are, this is absolutely worth watching.

Demi 2.0 seems to have turned a major corner and grown a lot from her experiences over the past year. We’re getting our copy of “Unbroken” ASAP!

IT’S HERE! After weeks of anticipation and sexy teaser...

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:24:11 -0400

IT’S HERE!

After weeks of anticipation and sexy teaser trailers, Joe Jonas has FINALLY released the music video for his second single, “Just In Love.”

Because Joe is all grown up now, he—like every other former teen celeb—has to prove he’s a sexual being. But we can’t say we aren’t into it!

The secksual vid follows a scattered storyline of a super dreamy Joe and his love interest as they frolic around Paris. It appears that Joe is only in town for a short while, and has to leave his newfound lover… but he’s “just in love” with her already!

We’re a little disappointed with the casting choice. Did he HAVE to go the European model route? We always think it’s much more charming and sweet when our heartthrobs cast “normal” girl-nextdoor types (like the cute blonde chick in the Biebz’s “U Smile” vid).

Oh well.

On the bright side, we love all the scandalous touching and kissing, Mr. Jonas! But so much for that purity ring, right? Ha!

Check out the vid above, and let us know what YOU think!

Justin Bieber Steals the Show at FNO

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 17:35:01 -0400

In case you’ve been living under a rock, New York celebrated Fashion’s Night Out last night and it was more star-studded than ever before.

Whiticisms hit up DASH, Ben Sherman, and Chanel in SoHo while ~~her star-crossed lover~~ Justin Bieber hosted the party at Dolce & Gabbana uptown. (Dolce REALLY pulled out all the stops this year—show offs.)

The Biebz rolled up looking fresh as always and celebrated fashion with Anna Wintour, Usher, Scooter Braun, his momma (aww), and more.

Due to the complete pandemonium caused by our beloved pop star, the Biebz reportedly spent most of his evening upstairs with friends and other VIPs. Unfortunately, the Biebz wasn’t caught making out with a Dolce model or any other shenanigans of the sort.

Oh Biebz, you’re just so classy.

I don’t know what’s more horrifying—Joe Jonas...

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 19:17:00 -0400

I don’t know what’s more horrifying—Joe Jonas unsuccessfully trying to be sexy or the fact that this performance was NOT meant as a joke.

SO MUCH is wrong with this video. Allow us to itemize:

1) Joe’s outfit. Enough said.
2) Joe’s vocals. It sounds like a bad American Idol performance.
3) Joe’s dance moves…
4) … which brings us to his back-up dancers. The guy couldn’t find better-looking dancers to sensually rub up on him???
5) The lyrics. Actually, it’s not even the lyrics themselves. Justin Bieber would have done those lyrics justice. It’s the ridiculous delivery of the lyrics. Joe needs to watch a handful of Justin Timberlake’s performances before he embarrasses himself again with this number.

The funny thing is, the performance isn’t ridiculous because Joe (a former Disney teen idol who once sang about what it would be like in the Year 3000) is singing about adult stuff (i.e. sex and alcohol). Jesse McCartney pulled it off just fine, and was very successful in his transition from innocent young love songs to sex and romance. His performance of “Oxygen” even makes Whiticisms blush.

Maybe Joe just lacks the confident swagger necessary to giving that song justice. I mean come on, Joe—you’re telling a girl, who’s “acting like it’s her first time” that you know “she wants it.”

Maybe Mr. Jonas is still just trying to get used to being a solo act. But if his performances continue on this path, his good looks aren’t going to be able to redeem him.

So we’re kind of obsessed with David Guetta lately. Seems...

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 14:53:15 -0400

So we’re kind of obsessed with David Guetta lately. Seems like everything he touches turns to gold. Check out the totally hot “Pandemonium” featuring Afrojack and Carmen above!

If you dig Guetta’s beatz like we do, Whiticisms also recommends:

“Little Bad Girl” feat. Taio Cruz & Ludacris

“Night Of Your Life” feat. Jennifer Hudson

“Gettin’ Over You” feat. Fergie, Chris Willis, and LMFAO

“Memories” feat Kid Cudi

Song of the week: “In the Dark” by DEV. We love this...

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:52:00 -0400

Song of the week: “In the Dark” by DEV.

We love this girl.

DEV is a hot mix between Ke$ha and Gaga. Her music style is hot and her fashion sense hotter. She was also the featured female in “Back Seat” with New Boyz and The Cataracs.

Whiticisms can’t wait to see what else she comes out with!

Ch-ch-check out her latest music vid above!

Song of the week: “Mr. Saxobeat” by Alexandra...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:56:36 -0400

Song of the week: “Mr. Saxobeat” by Alexandra Stan

If you’ve been to a nightclub in the last six months, you’ve definitely heard this tune. HOT STUFF.

Check it out.

Jersey Shore Cast: Then & Now

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 20:50:01 -0400

In honor of the fourth season premiere of “Jersey Shore” this Thursday (Aug. 4), Whiticisms has decided to pause and reflect on how much the cast members have changed and grown over the years.

lolz.

Check out the “Then & Now” transformations of all your fav Jersey Shore guidos and guidettes below!

Thank god Snooki lost the poof and blue eye contacts! Girl looks way more glam without them, and still maintains her effortless guidette charm.

The Situation’s situation hasn’t changed too much. But we like his slightly longer, slightly less-gel’d locks (left) better.

J Woww went from trashy to classy, thanks to a [fairly significant] Hollywood makeover and new stylist.

Oh Pauly, we like your old school ‘do better! Can’t you lay off on the blow out for a while? For us??

Aaaaand Sammi looks exactly the same.

Ronnie still has that baby face. He’s just slightly more intimidating with the massive muscles.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least, Vinny!!! It looks like he rocked a ‘do similar to Pauly D back in the day. We like the “Now” Vincenzo better—especially the scruff he’s working on!

Famous Young Hollywood Couples

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:55:24 -0400

Ahh, to be young and in love… and highly publicized.

Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez

Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart

Joe Jonas & Ashley Greene

Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth

Blake Lively & Penn Badgley

Dianna Agron & Alex Pettyfer

Justin Timberlake & Britney Spears (lolz, we had to).

Laura McDonald is DEAD ON with her K-Stew impersonation. So...

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 19:45:34 -0400

Laura McDonald is DEAD ON with her K-Stew impersonation. So hilarious!

Check it out, above!